


Even angels fall

by furiousflamewolf



Series: Angeli e demoni [2]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Angel Lucas, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Demon Toni, Forbidden Love, Grief, Hurt, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Loneliness, Love, M/M, Mourning, Nightmares, Pain, Resurrection, Scars, Suicidal Thoughts, Temporary Amnesia, Torture, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-17 15:43:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16098716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/furiousflamewolf/pseuds/furiousflamewolf
Summary: Even after 200 years the pain of losing Lucas had  never faded. Toni is confronted with a sight he thought he'd never see again.





	Even angels fall

**Author's Note:**

> Song: Even angels fall, Jessica Riddle
> 
> This can be read as a stand alone chapter. But it would be better to read the first part of the story to understand it better. 
> 
> Although there are references to that in this story too. So reading the first one is not necessary. It is just nice to read it for some backstory.

It had been 200 years since Toni's whole being had been shattered. 200 years. The demon cried every night. Not being able to handle the overwhelming guilt that had taken hold of his nonexistent heart. The demon king had punished him upon his return. Severely. Torture for years. Toni didn't care about that. Whatever pain the demon king was trying to inflict on him it would never hurt more than Lucas' death. To punish Toni even more the demon king had told Griezmann to cut off one of the blonds wings. Toni hadn't even felt it. The pain was too much. 

Toni barely talked anymore. Not to Miro and not to Mats. He just cried. The other demon trying to distract him. Which didn't work. Toni wasn't the same anymore. The blond was sitting on a cliff. Staring in the distance. His shoulders shaking from sobs. Mats squeezed his shoulder. The blond hiding his face in his hands. He just wished that the demon king would have killed him then and there. The loss of his wing had taken a toll on him too. The shock of this loss came much, much later. Mats sat next to him. Toni not even seeing him. "Toni", Mats started gently his hand on the others shoulder. Toni's blue orbs were lifeless, emotionless. He didn't answer to Mats' plea. The other demon leaving him alone after a while. 

If he just hadn't fallen in love with Lucas all of this wouldn't have happened. Lucas wouldn't have had to die. He was unworthy of the humans love. Toni buried his face in his knees. His good wing quivering. He just wanted to die. Just fucking kill him already. Put him out of his misery. He had asked Mats to kill him. His friend adamantly refusing. Maybe Lucas would be reborn. Like all of them had. Mats had told Toni not to give up hope. The blond was beyond saving. The demon king punishing him by making him live. With this guilt. With this heartache. Toni whimpered brokenly in his arms. If he would have had the chance to save Lucas he would have taken it. His own happiness didn't matter.

Toni looked at the horizon brokenly. Miro had tried to talk to him. The demon refusing to talk. There was nothing to talk about. His guilt was eating him up. His own mind mocking him. Toni remembering Lucas lips on his as if the human had kissed him in that instant. With shaky knees Toni got up and left the hill. His whole frame shaking. He was exhausted. Lucas laughter was still ringing in his ears. Even after 200 years. Silent tears slid down Toni's pale cheeks. He hadn't talked to anyone. He didn't want to talk to anyone. Every time he closed his eyes he could see Lucas lay in a pool of his own blood. It made Toni gag. He hadn't been fast enough. He should have protected Lucas. He had failed him. Lucas was dead because of his stupid foolish mistake. Toni sobbed. 

His non-existent heart had shattered to pieces. He deserved to hurt. He deserved to hurt so much. Toni grabbed his own hair. Ripping of strands. Choking. The guilt he was carrying was swallowing him like a tidal wave. His own head mocking him. Rightfully so. Everything was his fault. Everything. Couldn't he have met someone else. Numbness had overcome the blonds body. He felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. He didn't deserve to feel anything. His claws would rip off the flesh on his arms. Making them bleed. White mazes of scars burning on his skin. Isolation didn't provide anything. They only ones who had tried to get him to talk had been Mats and Miro. Toni hid in a cave. There was no forgiveness for what he had done. The blond curled around himself. Tears falling from his eyes. Whimpering. Lucas' name leaving his lips desperately. There was no guarantee that Lucas would or had been reborn.

Even if Lucas had been reborn, his memory would be wiped clean. Tabula rasa. A new start. No human memories clouding an angels or a demons mind. Everyone of them had to go through the process. There were some cases where an angel or demon could regain their previous memories. It was a rare case. Most of them didn't have the necessary triggers. There would be small snippets, fragments of memories that would come back. Those weren't enough though. Like Toni remembering that he had, had a wife and a son. Neither remembering their names nor their faces. Miro remembered having twins but that was it. A very small portion of their previous life was remembered. It was barely a memory. Tonis good wing quivered. Curling around the cold stone floor, Toni tried to rest.

If sleep would claim him, he would always have nightmares. Seeing Lucas die over and over again. Griezmann smirking at him. His sword being drenched in Lucas blood. Toni would be petrified. Not being able to save Lucas even in his dreams. Crying out desperately. By now Toni knew that it had been Griezmann who had killed Lucas. The other demon not even trying to hide it. On the contrary. He was mocking Toni. Making him feel even guiltier. Enjoying feeding off the blonds pain. Griezmann was a sadist. He had been one of the ones to torture him. Emotionally. Making him relive Lucas' death over and over again. Until Toni had begged him to stop. His mind a mess. The French had broken him more than once. 

A noise startled him. Toni had dozed off. While crying. He was pathetic. Utterly pathetic. Shaking his head Toni sat up. His head pounding. Lucas voice ghosting in his head. The voices got louder. Toni froze. That voice. Lucas. But it couldn't be. Why would he hear Lucas' voice. It was impossible. Sighing Toni got up and walked towards the voices. He froze on the spot. Lucas. Lucas was standing there. His wings outstretched. Someone was with him. Antoine Griezmann. Something in Toni shattered. He knew Lucas didn't remember anything. Griezmann leaned in to kiss Lucas. Who wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Then the French disappeared. Toni hadn't noticed that Lucas saw him.

Toni watched transfixed. His whole body froze. His eyes wide. Pricking with tears. Toni choked. The other whirled around. His huge white wings making him look even more beautiful. Upon seeing him the other approached him. Slowly. Painfully slow. Tears were staining the demons cheeks now. Hitting the ground without a sound. The angel halted in front of him. Toni drew in a breath. Lucas looked just like Toni remembered him. Raising his hand to cup the angels cheek, he froze midway. Realization hitting him. This wasn't his Lucas anymore. Toni choked. This wasn't his Lucas. Tears kept falling down his cheeks as he squeezed his eyes shut tightly. This wasn't his Lucas. His Lucas was dead. 

Toni landed on the floor the moment his finger brushed the angels cheek. He ached to touch him. His heart crying out desperately. Please he just wanted to touch him. Please. Tonis lip bursts open. Blood dripping down his chin. Toni doesn't even feel it. Lucas eyes are hard. Unemotional. Of course the angel hadn't recognized him. Of course. There had been this glimmer of hope in Tonis mind. It was a foolish thought to have. Those kind of thoughts got you killed. Toni didn't care. Not when it came to Lucas. If the angel wanted to kill him, he would let him. "Lucas…", Tonis voice broke. The agony making it barely audible. His heart aching for Lucas to call him Antonio. Just one last time. Even if it meant playing with him. Even if it meant tricking him. That small piece of familiarity being needed to ease Tonis aching heart. Then if Lucas decided to kill him, Toni wouldn't defend himself.

Lucas looked at the demon at his feet. His eyes narrowing into tight slits. The demon hadn't moved at all. Maybe he was desperate to die ?? He was an angel, tasked with cleansing the world of evil and impurity. That's what the man at his feet represented. He deserved to die. Such a filthy creature. Lucas drew his sword. He would make the blond howl in pain when sacred blade would slash through his flesh. Painfully slow. He'd watch the demon choke on his own blood. The tip of the sword dug lightly in the others neck. Small droplets of blood oozing out of the wound. The demon keeping his eyes fixed on Lucas face. It was unnerving. Lucas wanted it to stop. The sword was drive deeper into the blonds neck. Making him hiss and shut his eyes. Lucas smirked maliciously. It was an incredible sight. 

Toni hissed. The blade burning his skin. He didn't want to look away from Lucas beautiful face. He ached to touch him. Touch his face. His lips. Ached to kiss him one last time. Please. That's when Lucas faces was inches away from his. Toni lost himself in the chocolate brown eyes. They were the same he remembered. Silent tears falling from his eyelids. Lucas didn't waver. Taking a deep breath Toni leaned in. His lips barely brushing Lucas'. Who stilled. His whole body in shock. His eyes wide. It was barely a kiss. Just a brushing of lips. Lucas eyes never left him. Terror and disgust written in them. With a flick of his hand the sword was driven into Tonis wrist. Keeping him in place. Making him hiss. "You filthy creature HOW. DARE. YOU ??"

Toni was choked. Lucas eyes wide. He looked crazy. Toni didn't even flinch. Lucas punched him. Over and over and over again. Blood flowing down Tonis nose. Blood gushing through his lips. He felt dizzy. There was no pain however. His mind kept chanting Lucas in comfort. Lucas was ok. Even if Toni died here, there was no way Lucas would remember him. At least like that the others mind would be safe. He wouldn't remember having killed his lover. Lucas would be safe. That was everything Toni had wanted. In a sense Toni had fulfilled the mission on earth. He had corrupted Lucas. With his lies and love. Bitter tears were rolling down the demons cheeks. Lucas wellbeing came before his own. He didn't mind dying at Lucas' hands. He didn't.

Lucas howled. The demon was still looking at him. MAKE IT STOP, his mind screamed. With a snarl Lucas picked up his sword. Blood flowing freely now. The angel grinned. Toni was just laying there. Not moving. Lucas thought it was too easy. Too easy to kill him. The tip of the sword is lightly pushed in Tonis chest. Right where his non-existent heart is. Lucas would kill the demon slowly. Toni choked as the sword is driven deeper. He doesn't try to stop it. There is no reason to. His eyes are fixed on Lucas. The other being the last thing he wants to see. Silent tears rolling down his cheeks. With the last bit of strength remaining in his body, Toni lifts his good arm. The palm of his hand coming to rest on Lucas cheek. His eyes are soft. God, Lucas is truly breathtaking. Toni doesn't regret having fallen in love with him. It had been worth it.

Lucas cheek is warm. Tonis blood staining it. Desperately he is searching for the familiar brown eyes. That's when Lucas returns the gaze. Maybe Toni can see a tiny flash of Lucas' eyes. His Lucas' not the reborn version. As quick as he saw it, it vanished. "Ich liebe dich." The angel freezes. His eyes wide. His breathing is faster now. Then Toni is punched in the face again. His hand leaving Lucas' cheek bloodsmeard. It was kind of ironic. The grip of the sword is shaking. Lucas is shaking. "DIE YOU MONSTER." Toni forces himself to smile. It's ok. "Ich liebe dich", he says on last time. Tears running down his cheeks. He feels like laughing at the same time. Maybe he would see his Lucas again. Maybe. Then everything went black.

Lucas scrambled away. He is shaking. A shaky breath escaping his lips. A voice makes him whirl around. Griezmann approaching him. Clasping his shoulder tightly. Lucas wants to shake the hand off as soon as possible. "You did well", the other says. A kiss is pressed to his mouth. Lucas pushes him away. He wants to gag. His head is spinning and hurting. Ich liebe dich. The words sound familiar for some reason. Lucas doesn't know why. He can't breathe. "Can I leave now ??" The other just nods. Lucas disappears. With a heavy thud Lucas' knees hit the ground. He throws up. What the hell was going on ?? Looking at his hands the angel realizes he is still shaking. He wants it to stop. He had done what had to be done. Ich liebe dich. Lucas hides his head in his hands. His head hurts. He wants it to stop.

STOP, his mind screams. Why is he hurting so much ?? He doesn't understand. It was just a demon. A creature of hell. He shouldn't feel like this. Guilty. Tears are sliding down his cheeks. Lucas has his head in his hands. Shaking it forcefully. There are images flying around his mind. STOP. Make it stop. It hurts. Make it stop. The overwhelming pain makes him fall to his knees. His head still clutched desperately between his hands. Ich liebe dich. Tears are still falling from his cheeks. Why were those words having such a big effect on him ?? He had dreamt of a person before. Their face never recognizable. Lucas had seen himself laugh. He had kissed the person and hugged them. He had been happy. He doesn't understand. Ich liebe dich. 

Realization hits Lucas like a ton of bricks. His breath hitches. No no no no no, this can't be. He was an angel. There was no way. No way. Lucas shakes his head. His own memory is playing tricks on him. Lucas is sure. There is no way. Lucas shakes his head forcefully. Griezmann had told him that Toni had killed him. Had driven a sword through his body. Had seduced him. No no no no no. Lucas is crying out, as his head is filled with images. Please stop. Toni. Lucas curls around himself. His hand clutching his chest. Toni. He sees himself kiss the blond. Both of them smiling. Toni is making him hot chocolate. Both of them sitting in a coffee shop. Toni is smiling at him. Kissing the back of his hand. His eyes soft. They are laughing together. Then the scene changes. Toni tells him he loves him, right before showing his true self. 

Lucas' knees are shaking. Those were memories. Te amo Antonio. He chokes. His eyes are wide. Oh god. Lucas rememberes going home after Toni had told him. He had been heartbroken. His vision swimming with tears. That's when he ran into someone. A man was in front of him. Blocking his path. Lucas was shaking. That's when he saw wings. Similar to the ones Toni had. But this wasn't Toni. The man has a malicious grin. Lucas has no time to react. No time at all. A sword driving up his abdomen. The handle being turned making him howl. Isco had found him. Barely conscious. His best friend answering to his plea and getting Toni. Guilt pooling in Lucas chest. Toni had tried to protect him. Griezmann had told him. Had told him Toni had been unable to protect him. Griezmann also said it didn't matter. Even if Lucas would be reborn, he wouldn't remember Toni either way.

Tonis eyes fluttered slightly. He wasn't dead yet. Just in horrible pain. Couldn't someone end his misery already. With hazy eyes Toni saw a figure approach. He was gripped by the hair. Wincing. Griezmanns face coming into view. A diabolic smirk on his face. "See I took everything from you didn't I Kroos ??" Toni doesn't know where he musters up the strength but he spits in Griezmanns face. The other slapping him so hard Toni sees stars. The demons claws scratch at Tonis neck. That's not the face he had wanted to see before he died. Toni growled. The hand on his neck closing. Choking him. The claws digging into his flesh. Tonis moan of pain is cut off. Dramatically Griezmann sighs. "Pathetic", he spits out.

Tonis body falls to the floor with a thud. Hiding his face in the dirt beneath him. A shaky breath escaping his lips. Everything hurts. A hand is on his cheek. The blond can't see clearly. The hand is warm and Toni just wants to sleep. "Antonio." That's when his eyes snap open. His lip quivering. Tears pooling in his eyes and sliding down his face slowly. His mouth is dry. He can't talk. This can't be. "Te amo, Antonio." Toni shakes his head. That bastard Griezmann was playing tricks on him. Toni would kill him. This hurt far more than losing his wing. The loss of his wing not even comparing to this. This was literal torture. The worst of it all. Soft and gentle hands are on Tonis face. Wiping away the tears. The blond can't look up. The illusion would hurt him too much. Couldn't Griezmann just kill him or fuck off.

Suddenly and unexpectedly there were other voices. There was shouting and snarling. Not daring to open his eyes Toni hides his face in his hands. His whole body shaking with sobs. He is pushed into a chest. A gentle hand running through his hair. His good wing hanging limply on his back. Maybe he is dreaming. Maybe he was already dead. It didn't matter to him anymore. Hands are on his shoulder and back. Hands are in his hair and on his neck. Too many hands. Toni tries to shake them off. "Toni it's ok." Mats ?? The blond lifts his head. Mats face coming into view. His friend is smiling. Miro is next to him. Toni shakes his head again.

"Antonio."

A desperate sob leaves Tonis mouth. Gentle hands lifting Tonis tearstained face up. Brown chocolate eyes looking into his. Toni shakes his head again. Soft lips brush against his forehead. Lucas was here ?? He remembered ?? This couldn't be. Toni looks around. That's when he sees Griezmann on the ground. Tied up. Struggling against the restrains. A demon turns around. Toni recognizes the face. It's the same man who had called him when Lucas had been injured. He recognizes Iker Casillas and Sergio Ramos. The latter holding Griezmann down. The French is snarling at them. Prompting Ramos to punch him square in the face. Knocking him out effectively. Iker and Miro talk. Until Miroslav nods. Toni feels dizzy. The wound on his chest still burning. He is so tired.

Lucas is clutching the demon. Burying his face in the others chest. Inhaling deeply. How could he have forgotten Toni ?? The thought made his heart cry out. That's when Lucas noticed that Toni had only one wing. His breath caught in his throat. Carefully tracing his fingers over the scar on Tonis back. Where the wing used to be. "Toni what… ??" Soft lips pressed against Lucas' making him sigh. "It's ok everything is ok now", Toni reassures the distraught angel. Who is crying in his chest. Clutching Toni tightly. Burying his nose in Tonis neck. His whole frame shaking. Tonis body goes slack in his arms. "Antonio", Lucas shouts a panicked expression in his eyes. A hand on his shoulder making him look up. Tonis skin is an unhealthy grey. His skin clammy. Absolute terror written in Lucas' eyes as he is removed from Toni.

Toni wakes up groggy but warm. It's pleasant. The ache of his cut off wing hurting more than ever. The demon falls back into the pillow. It's then that he notices Lucas' besides him. The angel asleep. His head pillowed on Tonis chest. Wincing The blond runs a hand through Lucas' hair. He kind of liked it grown out a bit. It felt nice in the palm of his hand. With a shaky hand Toni inspects his chest. Which is bandaged up. He can still feel the burn of the sword. It would probably scar. Mats and Miro peak inside. Smiling at him. Both of them retreating shortly after having made sure Toni was ok. For now.

Everything felt like a dream. Lucas here with him. Like a cruel wonderful dream. Toni was terrified that if he'd wake up, Lucas would be gone. Sheer cold and terror gripping his heart. Toni pinched himself in the arm. The scars mocking him silently. It wasn't a dream. Lucas was real. The pain and suffering had been real. Way too real. Lucas stirs besides him. Tonis eyes fixed on him. "Antonio ??" The demon doesn't respond. His palms gently cupping Lucas' cheeks. His breath hitching. His whole frame is shaking. Toni can't stop it. Fear is still gripping his heart. Suffocating him. The fear of losing Lucas again. Toni wouldn't survive it. Not again. 

Soft warm lips are pressed against his own. Making the blond sigh. Lucas gorgeous white wings resting on Tonis back. They are soft. So soft. There is no hurry, no desperation in the kiss. Lucas taking the lead. Tonis hands on his neck. Stroking. It's a soft kiss. A promise of more to come. Toni loses himself in the chocolate orbs when Lucas presses their foreheads together. The demon still not believing it. Lucas is pulled into a hug. Toni gripping the fabric of his shirt tightly. Shaking with sobs. Lucas has his face pressed in the crook of Tonis neck. Neither of them move for a while. Just enjoying eachothers company.

A warm hand is pressed against the blonds cheek. This time however there is no blood. Toni clutches the angels hand tightly. Tears sliding down his cheeks. "Look at me amor." The demon obeys. His angel smiles at him. Tonis heart flutters. It was his Lucas who was in front of him. His Lucas. "Te amo Antonio." The words making his heart race. Like they had done the first time. 

"Ich liebe dich."

Lucas kisses him again. Softly. Full of love. Toni had lost Lucas once, he wouldn't lose him twice. He'd rather die than lose him again. His beautiful angel. Toni promised himself he would do everything in his power to protect his angel. Everything. Even going up against the demon king himself if he had to. 

For the first time in 200 years Toni didn't feel any pain. Just love. Unconditional love.


End file.
